Note: If you're ever gonna go to Universal Studios, I strongly suggest bringing along a student ID, or a AAA card, or a coupon, or SOMETHING.  Because if you don't, and you're an honest working stiff like me, it's $40!  Assuming you survive the heart attack that occurs after you see the price of admission, it's not a bad place to spend a nice day.  Saturday was beautiful, and the lines weren't too long for some weird reason.  I hadn't been there in 15 years, and they've changed it quite a bit; lots of cute little adventure rides like Terminator 3-D and the Back to the Future ride.  On the downside, they got rid of KITT and the A-Team Stunt Show (boo!).  The honey factor was also a little disappointing; lots of Asians, but most were pretty FOBbish.  I could tell the FOBs from the Asian Americans b/c the FOB chicks would wear open-toed heels, and the Asian Americans would wear tennis shoes with no socks. 

Note: As racist or elitist or whatever at it may sound, I'm not particularly into FOBS.  (That's Fresh Off the Boat for you who aren't in the know).  It's pretty mean to say, but I guess the way they carry themselves, the way they dress, and their accents turn me off.  Not that I have anything against em' -- they're new to this country, so I'm gonna fucking cut em' a break and not rag on em' -- but I guess that I'm looking for someone more along the lines of a twinkie -- yellow on the outside, white on the inside.  Or maybe a prune danish -- yellow on the outside, black on the inside.  Or something.

And then on Sunday I missed out on Maya's graduation lunch.  I was planning on asking Ray for a ride (it was in Beverly Hills), but Ray didn't get back to late in the afternoon.  He was hanging out and partying.  All I know is that Saturday night after I got back, Paul came by to ask to borrow my bong.  No, I wasn't invited.

So I spent the rest of the weekend kinda in the dumps.  Not too far in the dumps, maybe just with the recyclable trash. 

Kinda proud of my writings last week; not b/c they were anything great, but b/c I was afraid I was starting to hide things from people.  Maybe not consciously hiding things, but subconsciously (duh!).  So I wrote about masturbating and being a slob and my ass exploding.  Fuck Larry King, I deserve my own column in USA Today! 

Watched the Real World: Hawaii last nite.  Ick.  I was really into the Real World many moons ago; the summer I dislocated my kneecap and my father left my mom, I had lots of free time to just sit around the the house, so I watched the Real World LA and the first half of the Real World: San Francisco.  Then I started my junior year at UCLA and we didn't have cable so I (obviously) couldn't watch it anymore.  The Hawaii one seems kinda lame.  Yeah, you can imagine my reasoning behind it: No honeys.  The cast were at a bar, and the waitress and bartender were both smoking hot, and I was like, "Don't show the ugly drunken bisexual girl, show the honeys!". 

Maybe I have a gift for the obvious, but there's nothing "real" about the real world.  Yeah, it'd be cool to live rent free in a phat crib in an incredibly dope city with free vacations to exciting and beautiful places and then use the show to promote your career afterwards and get lots of really hot girls who are enraptured by MTV stars, but besides that, c'mon!  Seriously, it's like MTV controls your life: They carefully set up who you're going to be around, they monitor your activities, they send you places and put you with people for the purpose of creating "good" TV.  Everybody is pretty and charismatic (except for that Montana chick -- bleh!), rent and vacations and god knows what else are provided for you. What the hell is so real about that?  The people on that show are the literally controlled by the media -- that's really sad.  I want a real world with 7 people randomly chosen from the country, or the world or whatever.  An old fat black woman from New Orleans, an ex-con with prison tattoos from Florida,  a single teenage mom with her three kids...these are the people of the real world.

Ironically, this rant comes after I spent $40 for a theme park built entirely around a media corporation, with rides based on movies.  <SIGH> No one can escape their control.

And how come they've never had an Asian guy on the Real World?  NY, LA, SF, London, and fucking Hawaii -- not a single damn Asian dood.  Always gotta have a gay guy, but no Asian guys allowed.  Somebody should sue.

Akiyo's coming out today for a library lunch.  I know that's gonna be stressful on me - so stressful I'm not even sure if I want her to come.  What a fucking cock I am, huh?