My family is really screwed up.  My brother's got ADD, depression, and maybe some kind of Tourette's; my mom's an alcoholic, and my dad is a lying untrustworthy crook.  And then there's me.  And I haven't even mentioned the physical things...I had lunch today with Val at the nice Korean place next to my work.  They should hire better looking hostesses there.  Anyhow, she bought me a sweater, which was nice.  I felt bad later, since I think she's so uninteresting.  Well, she is if you're me.  She's dedicated, organized, and is gonna be pulling high five figures in 18 months or so. 

So I feel bored AND inferior.

Last Friday nite I asked Ray for a beer.  He wouldn't give me one.  "Just smoke, Haole."  So I did, and now I'm smoking more cigarettes than I did in college.  Didn't take me long.  I've said before that smoking is like meditation to me -- a Camel Light is like a good koan to me..  At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna reach nirvana by march.  I'll say Hello to Curt.

So I'm smoking, and not running.  Maybe it's a temporary thing.  Maybe not.  Emphysema, not cirrhosis.  My other New Year's resolutions are going OK -- limiting fast food, taking the steps to getting a my license and a car, dealing with Duc.  They're not all something I can all tackle at once, but in a year or so when I look back on em' (provided I live that long), I'm looking to have handled all of em'. 

I'm thinking about getting into swimming.  I didn't learn until I was 12, and I swam a lot that summer, and I don't think I've swam since.  I had swimming in 9th grade, and I was so bad and so out of shape that I elected to sit out and take an "F".  It was my last "F" until a year-and-a-half ago at UCLA, when I was too busy studying Bongology.  There's an olympic-sized pool in Cerritos that I can walk to.

Akiyo's thinking about getting back into swiming (she was big-time in high school), so I suppose that's a reason.  Shit, I need to stop thinking about her.  Me & Pumpy both.