1/25/99 -- I guess I think of myself as being something of a pervert.  Or at least a horny bastard.  I'm not a psycho-rapist or exhibitionist or anything like that, but most people who stop by here know (although they don't understand) my, uh, urges and fixations and (as some have rudely labeled it) fetishes.

Ray and I pull into a Mobil last Thursday nite, and as we drive in, I see this woman in this tight outfit with a high skirt bending over to fill up the tank of her 240 SX.  I'm like, "Whoa!" cuz she had nice legs, a hot body, and she wuzn't no white broad.  Ray sees what I'm seeing, and so he ignores the signs urging drivers to pull to the forward pump and he stops at the first pump in the adjacent aisle so that we can get a good view of her legs (those signs don't take into account scenarios like this). 

As well stop and Ray gets out, we see that her skirt, which has a little triangular slit in the back, widens as she spreads her legs and then BOING! we can see her ass cheeks. 

Now, what do you think my reaction was?
a) remain transfixed in the car, my eyes firmly focused on the revealed gluteus ahead of me?
b) jump out of the car and give her a real "gas station pump?"
c) walk over to the station attendant and buy some cigarettes?

If you guessed "b", well, thanks for thinking so highly of me, but no, the answer is "c".  I realized I was looking at her bare ass, and I felt like a voyeur.  I mean, she didn't know I was checking out her ass, which makes it different from, say, a strip club. I felt, I dunno, criminal. 

Ray asked, "What the hell's wrong with you?" when I got out.  The girl had then filled up her tank and turned around.  She was pretty hot -- some sort of Afro-Latina thing going on.  And after Ray and I were on our way and we stopped giggling about what we'd seen, he started bugging me about why I didn't sit in the car and check out her ass.  He kept going off about "Having to look out for #1, man."  I didn't know what #1 had to do with anything, I thought it was about looking out for chicks' butts.  But his point was that if some girl is going to wear a tight, high skirt with apparently nothing underneath, then it's perfectly OK for a guy (or a lesbian, I suppose) to check out what she's got underneath as well.  "Some girls like that kinda shit."

I see his point, but I don't know what my problem is.  It felt wrong, not to mention a little pathetic.  Dammit, if I'm gonna see a chick's bare ass, I wanna pay to see it!  I dunno, it just seemed wrong, somehow.  Sort of like stealing -- I was looking at her sort-of-naked body without her knowing about it, like I was robbing her of her privacy, even if she was just keeping her goods on the driveway so that anyone who walked buy could take it.

So maybe I don't have as low moral character as I thought.  I took into account someone's feelings.  Yick.

Oh, BTW, my license renewal was fine.  I dunno whatever happened to that ticket, but it's gone, now.

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