11/4/98 -- Today I come into work not in my normal, job-hating, self-loathing mood.  No, today I come into work cheerful and optimistic, with a new sense of worthiness both in myself and in other Americans.  It's amazing, and I can't truly explain, but relaxing in front of CNN last night and seeing Jesse Ventura leading the Minnesota gubernatorial race was....indescribable.  He seemed like a deliverance, not only to the fine peoples of Minnesota, but also to me.
     Ventura's election to the office of governor of Minnesota has made me proud to be an American, made me think about the potential that each and every one of us within ourselves, and most of all, made me think about moving to Minnesota.  C'mon, it is dope to have the governor of your state to be an ex-wrestler.  Really dope to have it be "the Body".  When someone at your victory rally holds up a sign saying, "Jesse Kicks Ass!", then you know he's a candidate for the people.  Here in California, we got stuck with choosing between Dan Lundgren and Gray Davis.  Maybe if they had cool nicknames, like Dan "Thunder" Lundgren, and Gray "the Animal" Davis, then people might get more excited.  Paul's sister Vivian, who worked for the Lundgren campaign, could be his valet, and she could hit Gray Davis over the head with a shoe when the debate moderator wasn't looking. 
     Man, we can all use cool nicknames.  Give yourself one right now if you don't have one, and insist that people call you by it.  Me, I'm gonna stick to being Haole, or some variation thereof (Cornhaolio, Haole Mad, etc.). 
     All this is a way to disguise the fact that I didn't vote.  I wasn't gonna make it out to Westwood just so I could pick winners, which I think I did -- mentally.  I was a little unsure if I'd go for Barbara Boxer or be like Ramone and "vote for the Chinese guy," but beyond that, I did pretty well.  Too bad I didn't put any money down.  Damnit, I never put money down when I win.  Fucking Kansas State is gonna be national champions, and I was too retarded to go to Vegas to put $100-$200 down on them.  I'm sure the odds were like 12-1 or something at the time.  Argh! 
     Yes, "Argh!" is the lame new thing I'm guaranteed to say thirty times a day. 

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