11/4/98 -- Akiyo's not at work today, so I guess she's stayed home and ditched.  She was mentioning that, especially considering how she's been "good" and come to work everyday for two months.  Kinda pales in comparison to those "My grandfather didn't miss one day of work in sixty years, even when he had his appendix removed and my grandmother was giving birth, and blah blah" stories you read about.   The Protestant work ethic it's not.  Still, she's not Protestant so what does she care?      Akiyo has my position at our Century City office.  Like me, she's paid squat and has to handle a lot of menial requests for overbearing attorneys.  Unlike me, she doesn't have deal with the colossal workload that I do.  Unlike me, she doesn't get dumped with everyone else's work and then can't dish any back out.  And unlike me, she doesn't have to share an anorexic office with a burping, sqwaking, irritatingly condescending flaming middle-aged loser retard.  Anyhow, I tried to get with her in what was basically the most eventful part of my life for the last seven months.  She basically discovered what every other female on the planet discovered -- I'm not some great catch.  It's like going fishing in...some really great fishing lake, where you could catch some huge bass, and winding up with a disease-infested sardine instead.  Yeah.  Millions of guys in LA, why land me?      Maybe she should bring along Orlando Williams.  And yes, if you get that reference, you are a redneck.      I just noticed that "ditch" rhymes with bitch.  Something to remember.      So yeah, she's ditching, so I don't have anyone to e-mail or phone all day long.  It's gonna be a long day.  Argh, Akiyo is one of those things that takes time to explain.   Or people, she's not a thing (although she's got big thingees, heh-heh...Sorry, she's sensitive about them.  I bet there sensitive, heh...ok, I'll stop.)     But yeah, she's the newest feature in my life, although a greatly diminished one as of late b/c of my incessent mood swings.  Well, that and fear of another $250 phone bill.   But that's for another day.       Surprisngly, I've gotten over the perceived rejection remarkably well.  I haven't been down about it the way I would be about most things like this.  She's still totally cool with me, which helps, b/c that way I don't get some weird fucking attitude on the other end of the line.  But yeah, I figured I didn't have much of a chance, really (when do I ever?).      The flip side is that if one goes in with such low expectations, their usually doomed to failure.  Argh, why are these things so tough?  Head...hurt......