12/18/98 -- I have been eating so much chocolate.  One of the small benefits of working in a big law firm library is that other libraries and library-service providers send us gifts -- namely, chocolate.  Godiva, See's, Hershey's, and some kind of bitching Chocolate Crispy Crepe things.  It's 7:30 in the morning, and I'm going through a jug of Hershey's kisses.  Shit, no wonder I've been so gassy -- a diet of milk chocolate does wonders for the lactose intolerant. 

Yes, I'm off my exercise plan (again).  I figure I'll start up when I go to Jville.  Gonna need all the excuses I can think of to get out of the house.

From the Files of the Sadly Unsurprising, Das jacked his car up on Wednesday nite.  I guess he and Ramone were imbibing at a friend's house in Los Alamitos, and while getting on the onramp, Das drifted too much to the left and ran over the island-divider.  I guess the left side of his car -- the tires, rims, breaks, etc. -- got totally messed up, so his car's spending a few days at Pep Boys, where Manny, Moe, and Jack are hard at work on it.  (Although he did get a pair of rims super-cheap from his friend's racing buddies).

Figured this would happen at some point.  Especially with Das -- he was so overconfident in his inebriated driving that when he talked about it, he was proud of it.  If he was a $10 million superstar athlete (like he could have been!), he'd have flipped over his Ferrari rather than jacking up his Acura.  Or if he was black some cops wudda beat his ass.  But at least this way there's less media attention. 

Phil comin' in tonite with hiz woman.  I'm nervous -- I always get stressed out whenever I'm around Phil and I'm not stoned out of my mind.  I'd always get depressed if I was around him and drunk.  I said this to Ray a few weeks ago, and he immediately replied, "I know why:  It's because Phil's the 'cool one'." 

Yes, I all know what you're thinking -- "But Haole, you are the coolest.  Someone being cooler than you is like being cooler than an Eskimo Pie."  But it's true -- at least I feel this way.  And now I don't even drink.  And we didn't get bud.  And he'll sweat me for not getting some.  Fuck, Phil will probably just kick my ass for being such a NGAS-ridden Barney.  Maybe his woman will double-team me, and they'd both kick my ass.  Although if they did, maybe I could grab a boobie that way, though -- heh.  (Kidding!)

As much as I hate lawyers and law-firms, I'm starting to think about law school just a little now.  Albutt first mentioned it to me while we were at McDonald's years ago, after I had never even given it a second's thought.  And then Akiyo is telling me about her childhood buddy Seina, who I knew from the apartments at UCLA -- she lived down the floor from me.  More importantly, her boyfriend was my drug dealer.  Anyhow, I guess she's gonna go to law school.  Of course, her folks got hella hella hella bank, so that makes it a lot easier.  But still, if she can do it, so can I. 

Wondeful, if I go to law school, I'll have a conversation at McDonald's with a guy whose clothes I threw up on, and my old drug dealer, to thank for it.  If I make valedictorian, I'll be sure to mention them in my graduation speech.

X-mas shopping almost all done, except for the big boys -- Ray, his mom, my parents, and Short Bus. 

I got a boatload of things to do at work to try and minimize the shit that the Duc will give me when I get back from Jville.  My parents have my old computer and a Media One connection, so I should be able to update from home.  In case I can't, well, I hope everyone has a better Christmas/end of Hanukkah/start of Ramadan than I'm gonna have. 

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