2/01/98 -- You know what the worse part about the rain is?  Women dress for it.  They gotta wear pants and baggy rain jackets and booties.  They don't walk around in short skirts and way-to-impractical heels.  Consequently, my hormonal level is down when it rains.  Interesting correlation.  Or is it causation?  I never understood that.  I guess it's good that they dress for rain, b/c then they don't get pneumonia.  But who cares about them, it's all about me!!        We here in L.A. aren't familiar with rain.  It blows.  Actually, it cleans out there air, so when it does stop raining we'll get a day or three of clean, blue skies. Think about how weird that is -- you want it to rain so you can have blue skies.          One of the guys who lived in my apartment before me apparently had all kinds of problems judging by the stuff we get for him: hospital bills, investigation services, stuff from the courthouse.  We were bored the other nite so we broke into the lockbox he'd left here.  Wasn't the treasure trove we were hoping for.  A couple of hypodermic needles, some lame-ass gothicy necklace (a claw holding a translucent marble), and some Crow: The Movie trading cards.  The needles were interesting -- we were debating if he had diabetes or had a heroin problem.  Like one can use heroin and not have a problem, but that's not important right now.  Anyhow, that was our weekend-night activity -- breaking and entering and destruction of private property.          Quitting weed is not easy.  Well, it's a little easier when you're broke, but it ain't easy.  See, cuz smoking up takes the place of other things.  Everything is fun when you're baked.  I used to spend my whole weekend smoking up, walking around Westwood and eating and hanging out with whoever was around.  But it was fun!  Well, it felt fun.  I didn't sit around worrying about how much life can suck.  Problem is that it wasn't really distinct fun -- it all sorta blurred together after a while.  Plus, I didn't really mature or advance at all.  Sitting around watching MTV and saying, "This is the coolest video I've ever seen", didn't do much to help me get ready for the rest of my life.  Which is kind of why I'm in the spot I'm in now.  I didn't realize how good I had it when I was working and in school last year, so I blew it.  A fifty-sack of hydro along w/Dr. Bong would take my mind off my worries for a whole week.  Now I'm broke and have no weed and no fun.  Somewhere in this is a moral; um, never run out of weed!  No no...grow weed so I never run out of it and it's free!!  Hey...