February 3, 1998 -- Haole's 24th

2/03/98 -- Woohoo, it's my birthday. Just took a midterm to celebrate it. Stupid midterm, be more easy!!! Spent the whole weekend sweating out relativity crap, learning how when gamma approaches infinity the velocity increases towards c, and crap like that. I get the midterm, and it's all about redshifting galaxies. Like this means anything to you. 24 years old, my mother, God, uh, well, God bless her soul. Or something.
     Been eating a Whopper a nite for dinner, and now I've noticed that I'm starting to get smelly poo again. No more Whoppers for me! Ugh, but they're so cheap -- $1.07 for a meal. That's cheap. Even beats my two Taco Bell bean burritos for lunch deal -- $1.60 (here on campus). I need money. Can't pull effective BMG scams anymore, either. One used to be able to fill out those forms in magazine and send em' in and get back -- as many as they could send; so you could just take em' and keep em' or sell em', and BMG couldn't do poo about it. Now they only send like four. Phooey on them.
     Tom Clancy just bought the Minnesota Vikings for $200 mil. Well, him and some friends, I guess. Still, that's a lotta books he had to sell. I've been debating the question of whether or not I should work on being a writer. Yah, I know that for anyone who has read Stark Raving Mad, you're thinking, "Uh, no. Work on getting a job." But hey, I've read a Clancy book, and when I see that homeboy is buying the Minnesota Vikings, I'm thinking, "Be a writer." How can I not? Guy writes books about Jack Ryan and World War III, with no prior writing experience, and fifteen years later he's king of the hill. I mean, if I started now, I could own an NFL franchise by the time I'm 39. Cool. Maybe I'll have Michael Irvin as my coach and he can bring by some self-employed models for me. Yeah!
     You ever get the feeling that you're not like anyone else? In the sense that you don't "fit in" with anyone else. Stupid question, I know -- "If you didn't fit in with anyone, you wouldn't have any friends." But still, I'm thinking this one over, and it dawns on me that that's how I feel about people. I'll look at them and think, "I can't hang with them, they're not like me." That's why I never make any friends, people always make friends with me. Well, not always, or else I'd have six billion friends. But that's how I perceive people -- they're not like me, so I won't talk to them. It's not an arrogant attitude, like I'm better than them. It's just how I feel about people in general. I think that I'm so unique that no one else out there is like me, like no one else shares my interests and feelings. Yo, it's like a I don't think I can be down with anyone, so I don't talk to hardly anyone, so I'm stuck reinforcing my old behaviors and ideas. These kind of vicious little cycles permeate my life.
     On the same subject, I also realize that I don't talk to anyone all day. Like, I've been in school for so long that everyone I met when I first came here is gone, and I have no one to talk to, except my roommates, and I can only talk about the cute girl I saw in the elevator for so long. How sad.
     See, smoking out made me oblivious to shit like the above. I didn't care about other people, I just wanted to eat. It's good that I'm off the stuff, or else I'd be writing entries that looked like this:

Holy Buddha! I am soooo baked. I love smoking out. The fog looks sooooo white. I'm hungry. I'm gonna geta a chorizo. 411 is the 911 for the 311. I'm hungry!

Just read that Daniel Baldwin had a coke meltdown and was freaking out in some hotel suite while naked and watching a porn flick. What I wanna know is how Danny Baldwin is earning enough to afford a cocaine and a hotel suite. For that matter, how can he afford a porn flick?
Also just read that Toni Braxton filed for bankruptcy. (OK, I check Mr. Showbiz for entertainment news. Yes, I know it's the on-line equivalent of E!) Toni, girl, all them record sales and you're broke as a muthafucka? You know, this is totally unrelated, but it reminds me of a theory Dave and I concocted -- African-American musicians, when they make it big, wind up spending boat loads of cash on videos that are stupid and make absolutely no freakin' sense and have nothing to do with the song at all. Like check out some of Biggie Smalls' stuff off of Ready to Die w/that "Hypnotize" video. God damn! Just anything, even Toni Branxton videos -- I mean, what is up with that? These four-minute videos have gotta cost like $3 million to make, what with all the location shooting, clothes, high-quality production, and tons of dancers to party with and have sex. Like it's any big surprise. Hmm, wonder if Puff Daddy'll go broke? Now that'd be a lot of money to blow.