-- .Yesterday at work the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue arrived.
It's a special edition, separate from the regular weekly issues of SI that
we normally receive at the library. We only received one, probably
b/c those horny mofos in the mailroom snagged one for themselves.
The SIs go out by the reception areas, but I figured that they'd disappear
in a minute if left out, snagged undoubtedly by some shrimpy dicked attorney
whose b/c a lawyer to boost his ego <-- namely, every male lawyer here.
So I mentioned it to the Deej, and she thought it was a bad idea, too.
So we just left it sitting here in the workroom.
At the end of the day it dawned on me to bring it home to Ray. With his arm he can't do much, so mostly he just sits around and watches TV or reads magazines. So I snagged it, and had it with me on the 1 3/4 hour ride home from work. I had nothing with me to read except a boring issue of Psychology Today (contrasted with their usual ever-so-exciting issues), so I just slept. I never even considered taking a peek inside -- it's all white girls, and I don't want anyone getting the impression that I'm into white girls when I'm not.
OK, so there was one Asian model -- Something Quock. But she wasn't very attractive. It's like SI likes to get Asian models that are built like white girls, and don't even care if they're pretty or not. I walk blindly around UCLA with my hand out and grab a couple of hotties who look better than Quock or that Nadia Nguyen chick. Ick.
OK, maybe they look better in person. But they don't do anything for me in SI.
Got three days of doing nothing coming up. Wanna get some swimming in (finally), and clean my room, which is an all-day exercise, believe me. I wanna go to the pool as soon as they open, to minimize the potential number of children who will be laughing at the white man flailing away in the water (it's been a long time since I've gone swimming).
Thoughts about my future plans: Marry Tyra Banks and live happily ever after.
Realistic thoughts about my future plans: Grad school costs money, and the only things so far I've considered are law (good for money, bad for self-interest), english (good for neither), and asian-american studies (good for self-interest, bad for money, good for lots of weird looks). Changing careers would definitely require me to take a few more classes somewhere about something, so school is in my future, one way or another. Maybe I could just be a bank robber like George Clooney in Out of Sight. He was so dapper he nailed Jennifer Lopez!
See, it all comes down to getting some.