February 19, 1998

2/19/98 -- The days and nights of Haole. Actually, I'm thinking about changing my name to Ramen King. I eat Ramen, therefore I am Ramen.
     My stupid brother called me last night to ask if I had any ideas on how he could afford a ticket to Jville, where he apparently has some sort of stupid job interview. I had no idea other than to ask mom. So this morning, at 5:30, he calls and says he's catching a flight to Jville today at 11:45 from LAX! He said he was going to drive up from SD and leave his truck with me for a week. Whatever, I woke up, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I ran, showered, did homework, and repeatedly woke my ultra-light sleeping roommate. He came, we drove down and I dropped him off at LAX.
     My brother does not know how to maintain anything. I don't think the word "upkeep" is in his dictionary. His pick-up's a bigger piece of shit than it was before. The windshield is cracked, the tires are worn, the dashboard lights are burning out, the tape deck is broke, the "Check Engine" light is always on, the wipers don't wipe -- they smudge, and most unique, he's worn through the rubber steering wheel so that the metal circle underneath is now exposed in a spot. The entire top half of the steering wheel has been worn away, suggesting he grips it when he drives like he's hanging on for dear life. He's not a good driver, so that doesn't surprise me. But it's incredible, he's worn away an entire rubber steering column. The exposed metal is what really shocks me. It's only like a 91 or 92 Nissan. No wonder he's going for an interview in Jville - he wants to complete his redneckness. Anyhow, he's a fucking nut. I think he was dropped on his head repeatedly as a child.
     Anyhow, hopefully I'll be getting a few bucks from my moms in the next few days, and when I do, I'm marching down to Price Club (or Costco, whatever) and buying my ass some Ramen. Like, $20 worth, good for a few months. I'm not going to starve. I'll be Ramen King!! With his sidekick, Maruchan Man! Featuring the exotic but spicy Shinyun! Watch Ramen King as he faces down the bastard Cup O'Noodle gang! OK, OK, too many comic books. Fuck dat', not enuff comic books, damnit! When I was talking to my dad tonite, I made sure to point out that I'm down to the low 170s in my weight.   I don't know if I am or not, but I making him feel guilty so that I can get more money is worth it. He's a scumbag. I'll write about him some other time.
     Anyhow, right now I'm broke, so astride his run-down truck, I picked up a couple of more applications today from bookstores. Borders' owns both places I went today -- Waldenbooks and Bretano's. Bretano's is pretty phat, upscale, in the Century City Mall, and it's actually where Das once saw Tyra Banks at the magazine stand. Actually, the magazine stand is right in front of the register....ooh, damn, if I was working the register and saw Tyra browsing through the magazines, ooh damn, I'd probably be so overloaded with hormones I'd have an anyuerism. Tyra, I'm coming for ya', baby!
     Oh yeah, more book store crap -- Barnes nd Noble is being sued or prosecuted or something by the state of Alabama for selling books that the state alleges is child pornography. I'm kind of hedgy on whether these books are kiddie porn or not, but whatever, if I get an interview with Barnes and Noble, I'll mention I'm a member of NAMBLA, and that I admire the Greeks' idea of the best kind of love.   That is, the Greeks being guys like Plato and Socrates, who were into man-boy love, not the frat guys. The frat guys are weirder than that. But I won't get into that.
     Must get money...actually, it took me 60 seconds to fill out my DCP collection form, which is what I need to get back the $900 or so I paid into the UC's retirement plan. Actually, I'll only be getting back like $600, since I'm not retired. Of course, I gotta wait a few months for it, but at least I'll have ramen to keep me fed. Ooh, and I should order a new W-2 and get the tax refund process started, so that in like 60 days I could have $800 or so coming to me. I might even have a job by then! Woohoo.
     Actually, I really hope I get that job at Borders. Sure, pay sucks and all dat, but it's got benefits, AND you get 25% everything in the store, PLUS a $30 credit a month for books, which with the discount is actually $40. If I get the job, I'll probably have bought out their graphic novel section in a few months.   And that'd make them order newer and different ones, and I could buy those, and then soon they'd start bringing actual new comic books into the shop, and I'd buy those, and then...