3/13/98 --  Holy Christ, it just occurred to me that today is Friday the 13th.  If this week hadn't been bad enough...I'll probably drop dead of a heart attack by the end of today at the rate I'm going.  If I had a girlfriend, she'd leave me.  If I owned a dog, he'd die.  If I had a car, the breaks would go out when I was speeding down Wilshire, and I'd crash into a busload of rich Catholic school children and their nun chaperones.  
     Oh yeah, it's going to rain today.  I'd did manage to remember my umbrella.  Usually it's the case where I look outside, see it's not raining, and then starting marching to campus, and when I'm halfway there it starts pouring.  I felt a few drops today when I was walking, but then God realized, "Oh damn, he's got an umbrella.  Let's wait until he forgets it." 
     Saw the Full Monty last nite with some ex-library coworkers.  Ugh.  I forgot how much I hate British humor.  Humour, whatever.  Stupid limeys.  I've never understood it, and I never will.  So I'm a retard, what can  I say?  Heh, I loved A Fish Called Wanda, though; Kevin Kline kicked ass as a limey-hating assassin.  Also had to have dinner at some stupid little coffee shop.  I'm not doing that again.  Hanging out with them, that is.  What a freaking waste of time.  And money.  And sanity.  I never really liked any of them very much, and I don't know why they insist that I come along.  They brought along a couple of freshman who work there now.  Afterwards, I was thinking about those freshman when I was looking in the mirror, and I thought, "Damn, I look old."  I really do, it's the first time I ever looked at myself in that way.  No more youthful vigor in my face.  Just a tired ass who needs a job.  
     Last nite, after the CLICC lab closed at 11, instead of walking to my apartment, I walked to a pay phone and tried to call Maya's place.  Busy.  (I'm still avoiding Ban, cuz I know he's anxious to try and get me and Mark on the lease).  I then walked around Westwood, and up to Maya's, only to realize when I got to the front door that all the lights were out, meaning they were probably asleep.  So I walked back down to Westwood, walked around some more (it's pretty dead around midnite), and then went to Jerry's Deli and had a beer and wrote.  I left and called Michelle, who's the one person on the Westside I couldn't think of a reason not to call (besides it now being 12:30 AM).  Of course, she had just gotten back from Westwood ten minutes earlier.  Gak.  So I walked down to Subway, had a Veggie Delite even though I wasn't hungry, and then walked back, fully counting on Ban being asleep.  
     He was.  Whew.  This morning, I got up and took a shower before he woke up, but he was waking up just when I was ready to leave, so I just grabbed my backpack and umbrella and gotdafuck outta there.  I ran into Mark a minute later; he was going down to get some beer and something to eat.  He said Ban had just tried to bug him about the lease.  OK, maybe I'm being a coward with all this.  No one that I've talked to about this has encouraged me to sign the lease.  Ray and Das are of the "Get the hell out of there" mentality, and Maya and Jenny were a little more conservative, only because they might be thinking I might need to crash at their place again.  Which, truthfully is a possibility.  If I did that, though, I 'd wanna pay em' rent, both to be fair AND to encourage myself to spend a minimal amount of time living there. 
     I don't know what I'm going to be doing.  One idea is that I move back to Maya and Jenny's for two  weeks while I finish school, and then decide if I wanna stick around here or head back to Florida (a safe, but highly unattractive alternative.  Like going to prom with your sister).  I also have got this stupid idea in my head that I could run off to Hong Kong.  That's an idea that's gotta go.  What the hell what I do in Hong Kong?  I speak zero Cantonese (other than 'gweilo'), and don't know what the hell I would do, except lust after Sharon.  Again.  Go halfway around the world to do the same crap I was doing in college.  That'd be a classic Haole move.
 
 
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