3/26/98 -- Nuttin' beats computers when it comes to things to make me not want to study.  Well, the contestants of the Miss Asia America contest, naked, feeding me grapes and doing naughty things to me, might.  OK, it does, but when was the last time that ever happened?  My last final is tomorrow and here I am.  Maybe I won't study for it at all, and just go in and hope for the best.  My stupid history project really wore me out.  And no, I decided that no one here can look at it.  It's embarrassingly bad -- would you let someone read a term paper you're not proud of?  Thought not.  I'd rather be seen taking a dump.  
     Still can't get over Reggie White.  This one sportswriter said it sounded like someting out of South Park -- that busted me up.   I can just imagine Eric Cartman start rambling about the Japanese, "and how they can turn a TV into a watch."  Terrific, Reggie White is the intellectual equivalent of Eric Cartman.  Guess he can kiss that CBS job he wanted good-bye. 
     Heh, oh yeah, I forgot one other thing last nite -- member how I mentioned my fake ad on Korealink the other night, where I was saying I'm some hot chick?  Well, yesterday I got three e-mails all at one from this white guy, David.  The first starts out with the subject line of (I love this) -- "How can I command your cuteness?"  He then goes on to tell me about himself -- he's 33, designs web sites, goes to UCLA film school, blah blah, and wants to "kick it together".  He sends that, and then realizes my UCLA e-mail address (which is where I posted the account to) is sorta gender specific.  He then writes me back, accusing me of trying to make a fool out of someone (who, me?), and says that I'm "in a lot of trouble."  (Everybody all at one -- OOOOOOOOOH.)  He writes me again, threatening to have me put on academic probation.  Ironically, I already am.  And since I'm finishing school tomorrow, I could really give a shit, now couldn't I?  Maybe I'll e-mail him a photo of some really hot chick, and be all "What you talkee 'bout?  I love you long time.  Me suckee fuckee all nite."  Stupid.  (When doing a spell check with Composer, one of the suggested alternatives for "suckee" is sucker.  About sums up this guy.) 
     But JUST to be on the safe side, I'll wait until after my final.  Don't need some freak going postal on me before my last final cuz he felt like an idiot.  We all feel like idiots, moron.   
     Shit, I still have no definite idea of what I'm doing tomorrow.  Porno Paul has suggested that staying with Ramone shouldn't be a problem, although I'd hate to do that again.  I remembered Nicole was leaving for SD today and I hadn't written her in a few weeks, so I called her up right before she left (what timing!  If only I could have that kind of timing with other chicks).  She mentioned Ray as well.  I think so far everyone is mentioning Ray except Ray.  I should give him a call, else I'll be convinced that staying with Ray is dope and show up at his house and he'd be like "Whuh?  I didn't say you could stay here!"  "But everyone else said I could!"   Nicole also mentioned if I got really desperate, that I could maybe stay with her mom and her mom's boyfriend, Dick.  (Yes, his name is Dick.  Pity him.)  Nicole then informed me I could play with her mom's beagle puppy, so that then her mom wouldn't have to pay the girl from up the street to play with the dog three times a week.  That struck me as being immensely funny -- imagine paying someone to play with your dog?   
     Reminds me of the old snap, "You're sista's so ugly, they gotta tie pork chops around her neck so the dog'll play with her."   
     OK, I have to go study -- gotta give it a shot at least.  Be back in a while.
 
Previous Next
Haole's Homepage stark raving mad