3/3/99 --  (Note: The network at our offices has been down the last day or so, so I've had plenty of time to babble on here).  Had my psychiatrist bump up my doseage to 30 mg of Paxil.  He's got yellow fever, too -- he's married to some Asian chick and got a happa-haole son (judging by the photos on the wall), and he's a Buddhist.  Yeah, maybe next time I'll talk to him about that if I get the chance.  "Doc, how do I get some like you?"

Speaking of yellow fever, Akiyo's moving to NY in July with her boyfriend.  She sounds like she's got a plan, and I'm happy for her that she's moving on with her life, and that she's got a man she's apparently pretty serious about to take with her.   Of course, I'd be happier if she was moving to NY with me, but what can I say?  I have this magic that repels women.  Maybe it's my cologne.  My college buddy Michelle is living in NY now, working for Backpacker Magazine.   Maybe then it'll be a good time to visit her.  Heh.  I would be that lame a bastard.  Ooh, it could be like Felicity, where I follow Akiyo to New York, only to fall in love with someone else, although hopefully that someone is better looking than the dude Felicity hooked up with. 

Speaking of New York, I was born there.  Actually, it was Long Island.  I moved when I was nine months old, and only went back when I was four to go to some wedding for someone who I cannot remember.  My enduring memory was staying upstairs in a two-story house, and sliding down the stairs like a toboggan every morning.  Maybe I should go back.  All my stupid relatives on my mom's side of the family live around there.  I know they're stupid because she's told me so.  I've got a cousin Wally whose wife beats him up.  How pathetic is that?

Speaking of relatives, I found out yesterday my Uncle Roger (on my dad's side) grows bud on his farm.  He's the only one of my dad's large family to stick with farming, heh.  And his wife is into money laundering.

Oh, speaking of Felicity (well, I was speaking of it), I a) watched my first entire episode yesterday, and b) saw Keri Russell at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica on Saturday.  a) it's got dumb annoying characters who are completely unlike anyone I knew in college (and where are the Asians?  Fucking Hollywood), and b) she's short.

Oh, and speaking about yellow fever, I've been getting worried that my Paxil was reducing my sex drive, so I visited a strip club on Friday night while I had a rental car.  Hey, there aren't any quick bus routes to the City of Industry, all right?  Anyhow, that was fun.  And expensive.  It's interesting what guys will do (and pay) for some female companionship that's just make believe.  Well, guys like Drew Carey and Adam Corolla can land strippers.  Maybe I should go into stand-up.  OK, so I'm not funny.  Neither is Roseanne, and look where it got her? 

I don't know exactly what other guys get out of it (I've never asked them), except something to masturbate about.  All I know is what I get out of it.  I'm able to suspend my thoughts about the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Watching a naked woman dance (or a topless woman grind) for what must seem like the nthteenth time for them feels like it's the first time for me.  I'm able to feel like a man, I guess, able to get the woman I want (or wait for her), and she'll stay for as long as I can afford it.  No fear of rejection.  Some small talk to humanize her, perfume or baby cologne to give her essence, and she's a woman to complete me.  And when she leaves, I got a smile on my face (how many guys can say that about women who leave them?).

And no, this hasn't nothing to do with any kind of impotence thing, or small-dick syndrome, or any kind of sexual dysfunction besides NGAS. 

OK, and speaking of people beating other people up, here's a long story that doesn't really have much of a point: One of Akiyo's work buddies is this chick named Marta, whose like in her mid-40s or something (she's got a daughter whose 19).  Anyhow, Marta had been dating this doctor that she met.  He was her OB-GYN, or her friend's OB-GYN, and so they started going out.  He was always referred to as by the affectionate nom-de-plume, "Coopy", short for Cooper, as in "Coopy bought me this," or "Coopy took me to his cabin in Big Bear."

Now I've never met Marta, just talked to her a few times, but I can tell she's a bit odd.  Anyhow, I guess Coopy starts beating on her.  Once he punches her, and then a few weeks later he fractures her jaw and does something else that results in her arm being in a sling.  Akiyo mentions this to me, and I get upset, b/c while Marta is a few cans short of a six-pack, she doesn't deserve to get the shit beat out of her like that.  Anyhow, I get furious, but then Akiyo gets upset with me and tells me not to do anything, and she regrets telling me the story in the first place.  I find out his actual name by going to our HMO's website and looking for an OB-GYN named Cooper.  Only one is listed, so  I figure I've found the guy, but then I realize there really isn't anything I can do to make the situation any better for Marta, so I let the matter drop.

So yesterday I'm pulling cases for one of our labor attorneys, and I come across the guy's name in a suit against the California Supreme Court and a defendant.  He was being sued for taking advantage of a patient he saw, and he was petitioning to have the charges dropped.  It went into detail as far as what he was alleged to have a done, and he's a pretty sick bastard.  So tell Akiyo to tell Marta 'bout it, and then I find the actual jury trial verdict (his petition was rejected).  He got off b/c the accuser chick was seeing a shrink, and her husband perjured himself, and Coopy is a lucky fucking bastard.  This trial went on back when Marta and him were spending the most time together, and she never told him about it.

Weird, right?


 
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