3/9/98 -- Ever start your day feeling like an idiot?  It sucks, because the whole rest of the day, you keep thinking back on that first thing you did, and how you feel like an idiot because of it.  It sucks worse if you're gonna be reminded how much of an idiot you are for the next few days, weeks, years, etc.   
     This morning I woke up and called my parents.  My mom had called last nite, but I was out with Das watching the Big Lebowski, so I didn't get back in time to call them.  So I call em', and start talking to my dad, and he mentions that my brother is making good time, that he's already in central Texas.  I hadn't known that Scott had left, and so my next question was obvious: "Where's his truck?"   
     "He's towing it." 
     Apparently I had not communicated to Short Bus that I had wanted, or certainly wouldn't mind the possession of said vehicle, as crappy as it may be.  I had my own personal agenda for it, although I wasn't going to communicate that to him.  Short Bus could not take a hint, however, and thought that he'd be burdening me with it, so now he's towing it behind him.  Right now he's probably somewhere just east of Houston.  And I'm here, in LA, without wheels.  So much for my grandiose moving schemes, my access to Price Club... 
     Other than that, I still feel stupid.  First off, yesterday I ate nine cheeseburgers, on top of ramen and oatmeal.  Das wanted to see a flick, so we agreed to the Big Lebowski.  He got here too late for us to see it without missing the previews, so we decided to get some Mickey D's, even though I had just ate.  We each decided on seven 39 cent cheeseburgers apiece, but Das had to punk out halfway through his fifth, so I ate seven, and then at the end of the night took the last two home with me.  After dinner, we went to the Century City Mall, bought tickets to see the Big Lebowski, and hung out at Brentano's where I skimmed through a $21 history of the Houston Oilers called "Loser Takes All".  We saw the Big Lebowski (not real good) and the previews (just as bad), and headed home, where Das tried to intellectualize the movie to understand, and I just mumbled about how it didn't have a plot.   
     Doesn't do much for one's self-esteem when the football team that one once followed with rabid interest has a history entitled "Loser Takes All."  I identified with the Heartbreak Oilers of the late 1980s and early 1990s, and now they aren't even in Houston anymore, and probably not the Oilers for much longer, either.  Any whiny Mets or Cubs fan can suck me.   
     While we were waiting for the previews to start (which all sucked, as I mentioned earlier), Das began to lament the exploding commercialization of American culture.  After trying to dissuade his opinion, saying that life in the 50s (which he longed for) was nearly as commercial as it is today, he talked about relocating somewhere less commercial, like Seattle.  Since there's no way Seattle is less commercial (Microsoft and Boeing come to mind), he mentioned Korea.  Korea definitely ain't less commercial, but I get Das is longing for a return to life on the farm and green poo.   
     I worry about commercialization, too.  Here at UCLA, our goddamn student ID cards are sponsored by AT&T.  Now, commercialization is good, I suppose in the sense that big companies are footing the bill for stuff that otherwise would be passed on to us, or that simply couldn't exist without it.  But at the same time, these companies pass the bill onto us, the consumers.   So there's no escaping that it has a detrimental effect.  But is there any escaping it completely?  And regardless of if there is, should we try to? 
     I hate the idea of being an anachronism.  A lot of people long for a return to times past, of a time earlier in their lives when things seemed simpler and more enjoyable.  Assuming that we aren't moving at speeds near that of light, time constantly moves on, and those simpler times, which really weren't that simple, pass on into the present.  Technology also progresses, and lately it's been progressing faster than it has, well, ever, as a seemingly exponential rate.  As technology progresses, there are companies in position to take advantage of this growth, and thereby grow themselves at a nearly identical rate.   
     Now, assuming that this is the pattern continues, should one choose to reject it?  By rejecting it, one is being a rebel, and since the rejection is centered around a desire to return to times past, or the "way things were", one can be labeled an anachronism.  History is forever unkind to anachronisms.  That's why they're history.  Time marches on, and those who don't wish to keep up are contemptuously looked upon while they're alive, and forgotten when they're gone. 
     I guess one may find that solecism is preferable, but it would still tend to render one a cynic.  Luckily we live in a society where neither is against the law, unless you're planning a return to the time when automatic weapons and cocaine were both legal.  
     OK, I cut this short b/c I'm hungry and haven't eaten since yesterday's burgermarathon, and now I wanna go home and eat some oatmeal.  Lates. 
 
 
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