4/15/99 -- Nothing can ruin my mood like Akiyo.  Fuck!  OK, no more talking about her.

So, uh, nice day huh?

Oh, I know, I can vent about ATMs -- why is it whenever I'm in a rush that I get stuck behind three people who are trying conduct a leverage buyout of Compaq through the ATM?  These people spend over two or three minutes at a time in front of the ATM.  What the hell are they doing?  You put money in, or you get money out, or both.  60 seconds, tops.  What do these people do in front of them?  Do they sit there and debate whether or not to pay the $1.50 fee for non-branch usage?  Argh!

Yesterday I was in a rush so I went to use the Home Savings of America ATM.  I don't bank with Home Savings, so I don't normally use their ATM.  But when the money is supposed to come out, the monitor says, "Please take your currency."  Currency?  What else kind of money do they have in there?  Drachmas? 

Great, we're still at war.  What the hell is the big deal about actually declaring "war" anyway?  We declared war on Germany and Japan, and now their our buds, for the most part.  Meanwhile, North Korea, Vietnam, and Iraq still won't give us the time of day.  Well, maybe Vietnam will, with a watch some sweatshop kid got paid $.28 an hour to make.

There's still a fucking hole in front of the house. 

Shit!  I hate fucking Akiyo. Why does she...NO! ...must resist....bitching.... strength.......fading..fast.......

BTW, Akiyo was cool with the whole book/gift thing from yesterday.  She handled probably the ideal way I'd wanted.  Ok, not the ideal way -- that would have involved copious amounts of wet, scream-inducing sex -- but the second best.  'Nuff of that.

Anyhow, Akiyo aside, I feel like a loser today.  It's one of those things where you look at your friends and acquaintances, y'see what their doing with their lives, and then you look at yourself and you say, "I ain't shit."  PhDs, new jobs in cool cities, new jobs in Sacramento, blah muthafucking blah blah.  And I'm stuck listening to library bullshit.   How did I manage to piss my life away so badly?  Whenever opportunity knocked, I went to the bathroom and took a leak to avoid answering it.

Maybe I need shock therapy to my nuts.  Maybe that'll do something to control my NGAS.

Do I sound like Andy Rooney sometimes?  "Y'ever notice something about ATM lines"...that sort of shit.  Christ, that's sad.  "Y'ever notice how dust collects on you if you don't move?  I hate that."  "Y'ever notice that I've got a unibrow going on?"  Probably not, I hope anyone who reads this changes the channel before he comes on at the end of 60 Minutes. 

I need to get out of here. Literally, and figuratively.  Everyone keeps saying, "Oh, Haole, you should go to Hawaii.  There's lots of Asians there."  I know there's lots of Asians, there.  Don't you think that's something that I would know?   When I was looking through colleges in high school, I made a note of which school had the highest percent of Asians.  Y'think I would have transferred to UCLA instead of UCSB if UCSB had a higher % of Asians? 

Think again.

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