5/2/99 -- Yo, these two losers have dragged me back here.  Fuck!  I wanted to save my bud for a longer period, but they kept making me smoke!   Shit, Ray has been fucking with my ass the whole goddamn evil time!   I have seriously been angry with homeboy tonite, and I never get angry with him! 

Anyhow, I'm high right now.  Das and Ray are here, making my life hell.  Shit they are freaking the hell out of me.  Uh, dood, today I hung out w/both Ray's and Das' Coworkers!  Of course, Ray is unemployed, so they're his ex-coworkers, and I only actually met one of Das'.  Ray's coworkers are either black or hispanic, and they've got like no scruples or shit!  They make breast jokes and show their titties and shit!  Das' is just a big pot smoker.  But he's dope -- guess what we did there?  But, uh, shit... Oh  yeah, but it wasn't as much fun as last week with John's. 

Shit, I'm really incoherent.  Last nite I hung out w/Maya and Jenny and Sam the Limey.  We saw eXistenZ.  I was high when Jenny and Sam were stoopid enough to pick me up.  I conked out on them in the car after we stopped to see Rocky the Emotionally Fucked-Up Pooch.  I woke up when we got back and Maya came back from San Diego.  We went out for Sam's Birthday, and then off to eXistenZ in West Hollywood.  Pretty cool - lots of sexual undertones, and a deconstructionalist view of video games.  Phat.

Shit, Das and Ray are wondering around somewhere in my building now.  I totally deserve to get fired.  Shit, I'm so goddamn irresponsible.  Shit, I hate when I'm that way.  Especially if wasting bud is involved in it.  Then I start looking for shower rods...joking, people.  Sorry.  Anyhow, fuck. 

OK, here is something I realized when I was stoned on Friday nite.  It was the first deep thought I've ever had while stoned that I can remember.  See, when I get really suicidal, a lot of that stems from the fact that I don't think I've produced anything in my life, and if I died there would be no evidence of my existence, proving how little worth I am, right?  But then on Friday it hit me - I contribute back to people.  I try to be kind, to listen to their problems, to give them advice or help, and try to impart some of my wisdom or thoughts on the subject.  Along with a few gutter-in-the-mind references I always manage to throw in somewhere.  Understand?

Basically, I figured out this -- I was talking to Akiyo about her boyfriend and his smoking habit, right.  It really disturbs her -- her dad died of emphysema and she broke out in acne last week b/c of the stress about smoking and her man.  So I tried to calm her down, to impart some advice or strategy for helping him to get quit.  Then I read her a quote I remembered: "Women think they can change a man, and  a man thinks a woman will never change."  She liked that.  Duc was in the room when I said that one, too, so I felt kind of wise and smart. 

Anyhow, so yeah, my first deep thought.  Pretty self aggrandizing, huh?

OK, this E is not working for me.  I popped two at Ray's friends' place, and then I was waiting.  I got a little more active, but then Ray came along and was just dragging me down.  By the time I got to Das' coworkers place, all I wanted to do was smoke bud.  Anyhow, but yeah, it's not doing a lot for me.  Stupid medication. 

OK, Ray is really fucked up.  Scarily fucked up to me, a little.  Shit, Das wants to be immortalized for the second time.  I'll let him take control, heh heh...

Niggaz...... grab your dicks if you love hip-hop.  Bitches... rub your titties if you love Dave Das. 
Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis.. when I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this.

I just came back from korea 12 noon today. and im really tired . ive been drinking and smoking wit das and haole and im really confused.

OK, I'm not reading what they wrote until tomorrow.  Anyhow, that's probably a mistake, but I've got a drug problem, I can't make rational decisions!!  Anyhow, just wanted to wish my first reader (that I knew about), a happy 26th b-day, today.  Happy B-Day, Tash.

Peace Out.

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