6/11/99 - I always spend money like a rich kid, even though it usually leaves me dead broke.  Clothes, weed, food...of course, I don't have a car, or anything really else that's substantial, so where else would my disposable income go?  Getting a car and moving in with Jenny is gonna have to make me get a hold of my spending habits.  A car is gonna add, what, $200 for payments back to my mom, insurance, gas, maintenance and repairs.  With Jenny, rent's $100 than Ray's mom's house, plus I gotta buy all my own food, plus pay for laundry (yikes!) and other simple shit I've come to depend on by living with a mom (either mine or Ray's). 

Last nite was a good example in that.  After I got home, I was a little bummed after IMing with Michelle (she's going through some real shit right now in NY), and so I figured I'd smoke up.  Plus I listened to eight straight songs on Power 106, and I was feeling like keeping it real (anything is a good excuse for 420).  So a bowl comes out to what, $5?  Then Ray asked me if I wanted to catch the 9:30 showing of Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me.  Even though I was suspicious that it would suck (more on that later), I agreed -- I figured it'd be a good date for Haole and Ray.  So a ticket was $7.50.  I spent $14.25 on food (I was fiending, and bought Ray an Icee as well).  After the film, Ray dropped by Tower to rent some videos, and while he was wandering around, I ended up picking up (and not putting down) Jay-Z's Hard Knock Life, Ja Rule's Venni Vetti Vecci, and Len's You Can't Stop the Bum Rush, even though the only functional CD players I have right now are a old Discman that I got cheap off of Ray, and my Playstation.  Oh, and I bought the The Joint Rolling Handbook, cuz I figured rolling origami-like joints would be a good way to impress stoner chicks.  Well, if I knew any, that is.  Plus it's good bathroom reading material.  So that's another $52.00, or so for the CDs and the book.  So I spent, like, $80 on all that crap.  And I didn't even like the movie.

After the flick, Ray and I had a conversation.  He ran into a high school chum at Tower who was telling Ray about this other classmate of theirs who is pulling in around $200-300K a year as a banker.  But he's working 100-hour weeks.  Later, Ray made the comment that he'd be willing to work 100-hour weeks for $200-300K for ten or fifteen years, and then retire when he's forty and kick it.  And I disagreed, b/c I thought that time is more precious then money, and you can't buy back those years that you lose slaving for BankAmerica or whoever.  Money can't buy happiness, and the time you lose is gone forever.  There's no time for family, no time for personal fulfillment, it's just work work work.  But for Ray, after you're forty you could do whatever you want with your life -- travel, have lots of sex, whatever. 

It's not that I think life ends at 40, but that you shouldn't waste years off your life.  Time for a smoke!  Heh.  Yeah, I know I'm wasting my life right now, and Ray brought that up: I'm not doing anything with my life right now, so why not work 100-hour weeks so I could retire when I'm 40?  And that hurt a little.  But still, if I could do it all over again, I'd rather be where I am now than slaving away.  I'd be unhappy either away.

For my 60-second movie review, lemmee just say this -- Austin Powers: the Spy who Shagged Me is the same shit that you saw in the first film, only much more overblown.  It's the same gags, except this time they're not as amusing b/c you already saw them in the first films.  Heather Graham has really pretty eyes for a white girl, though, and that Mini-Me dood is fucking weird looking.  Homes is like 2'5" or something (no, I ain't converting that to metric.  Stoopid foreigners!).  But yeah, it's the same old shit repeated over and over again.  Not recommended.

And now Akiyo is having more problems between her bro and her boyfriend.  Argh, why can't my friends' lives be stress free?  I dunno, maybe that is good for me -- by seeing my friends humbled, I feel a little better about myself.  They're not having perfect lives, and it reminds me that nobody's life is perfect, so I'm a little less hard on myself. Then again, I feel like a schmuck for being so helpless.  Yeah, I know it's ridiculous -- I can't help everyone, of course.  And it's sorta mean for me to take any kind of satisfaction in the misery of others. 

Does sex take your mind off of these things?  Maybe that's my problem -- no sex, so my mind goes apeshit and I become neurotic.  Maybe I just need a hot Asian shrink to gimmee some good lovin'.  Anybody got any numbers?

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