6/2/99 --  Wow, the other good news for today (besides the Deej being stuck trying getting to work) is that I found Trash.  It was really hard to find, actually.  It was in my bag.  I found it when I was looking for my checkbook so I could write Ray's mom my last, and final, check for rent.  Ideally by this time next month I'll be living in sin with Jenny.  Well, I'm sure in some religion it's a sin to for two single people of the opposite sex to live with each other, even if the most sexual thing we do is play with Jenny's grossly overweight hamster.

"Living in sin" has a nice ring to it.  Wasn't that the name of a Bon Jovi album?  No, that was Living on a Prayer.  Whatever.  I get so jealous now of people who do that -- Akiyo, the narrator of Trash, Stung and Winston.  OK, I'm probably more jealous of the fact that they're actually getting some.  I wouldn't care at the moment if I was living in my parents' garage if it meant I could get some.  And unless a miracle happens and I find a girlfriend desperate for a place to live and Jenny doesn't mind having a third roommate for a couple of months, I won't be living in sin for quite a while.

I guess I'm naive and I only see the good side of the equation -- there's always someone to get some from when you get home.  And you can split the rent on a studio or a one bedroom.  It's not that easy, of course.  I guess people fight over shit a lot.  Money, attention, hole-ridden underwear (the last doesn't apply to me), but I guess I don't see how I could ever get into a fight.  I'm easy to get along with, not too demanding, just occasionally really inconsiderate.  But I always apologize and call myself an asshole!  Just ask Ray! 

Saw the LA Times this morning.  On the front page is an article of an errant bomb going off in Albania, wounding a refugee who was probably chowing down on his ration of oatmeal when an expensive piece of US ordinance ruined his day.  I scanned the front page looking for an article related to the picture.  Directly underneath that is an article captioned with the title, "Clinton Opens Entertainment Violence Inquiry".  I love this shit; this dood is bombing the fuck out of everyone and anyone nowadays, and he's telling America that our video games and TV shows are too violent.  I never liked President Bill, and I never will, but the sad thing is that I can't imagine a president who wouldn't pull some shit like this.  Maybe Jimmy Carter, but that's it.  I don't think George H. Bush, Gore, or Lizzy Dole would do any different.  Hundreds (thousands?  Sorry, I'm going to be talking out of my ass) of black and Latino youths get shot and killed every fucking year, and all we here are "More cops on the street."  Some white boys gun down a bunch of other white folk, and a black dude (OK, and they wound a honey), and then it's "Ban Doom!  Ban Mortal Combat!".  Of course, nobody plays that shit anymore, but you can't expect someone like the President to fuss over details.

Woo-hoo! Duc's out sick for today.  He probably just had a fight with his man and is too upset about it to come in.  Poor Akiyo had an argument with her ex-boyfriend over the weekend, and I volunteered to kick the hell out of him.  Double standards, I admit it.  Hey, if I liked Duc, it might be different. But the guy's a fuck, and he's one of a very select group of people who I no longer feel sympathy for.  Even President Bill, who epitomizes most of what is wrong with modern day politicians, gets some sympathy out of me simply b/c I know the shit he went through as a kid.  Of course, he might have trumped that up as well -- how many politicians don't?

I try not to judge people; maybe it's in my nature because I don't want people to judge me.  Maybe it's because I have seen and endured enough shit that judging people on their everyday faults doesn't seem or maybe it's because I'm too stupid to to make judgments about people.  I guess I normally try to see the good in people.  I try to stick up for people if someone talks about them behind their back, I root for the underdog, and I play the devil's advocate.  Everyone has a reason for being the way they are.  I know I do.  How odd, I look for the good in people but I only look for what's not good with me.  Hmm.

Hours Later...

OK, this day has gone to shit.  I have been so goddamn busy today that I've been literally sweating for the last couple of hours, and I work in an air conditioned building.  How many library clerks do you know who put forth that kind of effort, huh?  The few, the shamed, the library clerks.  And what thanks do  I get for it?  The Deej spends the day yakking it up with her buddies, and then she bails early.  Attorneys take books without checking them out, they want all their cases copied today, and one summer associate even stole on of our fucking chairs.  Whatever,  I just want to go home and forget about today.  I hate venting.  Ray just called to volunteer to pick me up at 5:30, and so I'm gotta get these up before then. 

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