Ray - "So how is it that you don't have a boyfriend?"  I've known Ray since my first year at UCLA.  I lived with him for over three years. Remarkably, he remains a bud.  He lives at home in Cerritos and works for a law firm and tells me to do something with my life.  He's also the life of any party, if you need someone to spice up your party, let me know, I think he has affordable rates.

Das/Dave - "The Irish of Asia!" Dave is known as Das for reasons I'm too lazy to explain.  He lives around LA with his pop and works in the ultimate LA industry -- informercials.  He's also the best drinker of anyone I've ever met, although his skills have declined with his slow maturity.  He's my designated sporting event date.  He puts out.

Phil - "Yo, get some from that dumb Japanese slut!  Do it for all the Chinese and Koreans.  Go to WWII on her pooji!"  Phil's a bud of mine who now lives in DC.  We used to smoke out and eat mexican food a lot.  Then he starting smoking out and looking at nudie mags with Ray.  Then he realized he needed a life and a paycheck and moved back East.

James - "Don't call them 'doggies', Haole."  James is a real nice guy who's much smarter than you or me.  His IQ is only matched by his prowess on the dance floor.  He decided (like Phil) that he needed a life and so he moved up to the Bay Area, but he's given his nice paycheck has been swallowed up by the cost of living.  I don't feel sorry for him, though.

Paul - "She was there with her boyfriend.  He was huge. If there were five of me, he'd still kick my ass."  Sunday school teacher by day, network technician...by day.  He's Mr. Hard Work.   He too lives at home in Cerritos, but cast off the surburban veil with his old Mustang ragtop 5.0.  He's Mr. Nice Guy.  Too bad he doesn't get paid for that.

Farand - "I like deaf girls, and girls who don't speak English.  Or Mandarin." Despite the questions and comments I make about his name, Farand has remanied very nice to me.  He went to law school in DC, and now is looking at being a lawyer in the Bay Area.  Which is good, b/c he's plenty crafty guy.  He's still bumming around Cerritos, though.  He's also Mr. Unusual -- he once went into a nightclub and told the girls he talked to that he was an astronaut.  THAT'S ballsy.

Akiyo - So come August, will you disappear and I'll never hear from you again? "I can't answer that right now." Akiyo was this girl who worked at my old firm's Century City office.  In short, we had a bizarre phone relationship for a while, but it ended.  We remained pretty good friends up until near the time I got fired, when she got all quiet and I got the axe.  I was "advised" by shysters in high places not to contact her.  Not that it really matters what they say, but she's gone and so are any feelings I had for her.

Short Bus - "You hate me, don't you?"  This is my brother, Scott.  He's 31 and living in Jacksonville near my parents.  He's actually got a woman.  I hated him as a kid, and now I hate myself for hating him as a kid.  But I still successfully manage to treat him like dirt whenever I see him.  We're more alike than I care to think about.

Winston (also known as Wu or Winnie) - "Fuck Taiwan, those wannabe Chinese."  I never met anyone who was pro-China, anti-Taiwan until I met Winston.  Despite his hardline inclinations, he's a nice guy who decided to get a life and a paycheck and moved up near San Jose with his woman, Connie.  I try to be careful what I write about him, not b/c of his pro-China leanings (which I think are strangely cool for some reason), but also b/c he's a member of the NRA.

Tasha (formerly Paula) - "xxz" Tasha is my sweetie.  It's an effort not to ramble on and on about her.  I met her over the 'Net, and she found me through this journal.  Amazing, huh?  She lives up in the 51st State, and hasn't left me despite my constant cracks abooot Canada.  Heh.  Um, oh yeah -- we've never met, and at this point we don't know when we will, but I think she's truly amazing and remarkable and I think of her constantly.  She annihlated a lot of the old ideas about what I thought I would like in a woman, which makes her that much more unbelievable to me.

Nicole - "xxz" Nicole and I go back a long way, to high school and even before that.  She's been my free source of counselling since the 11th grade.  She's smart, and it shows b/c she's up in Berkeley getting her PhD in psychology.

Jenny - "What do they show on ESPN?" Jenny is my roommate.  I'm not sure for how long.  I knew her through Maya, and when Maya needed someone to take over her spot in an apartment, and I wanted out of Cerritos, I took over.  But then I got fired and racked up huge phone bills and Jenny turned into a problem and not a friend.  She wants to be English, and even got an English boyfriend, Sam.

Sam the Limey - "xxz" Jenny's English boyfriend.  He's actually half-Armenian, and has been in the US for a few years.  He's a terribly nice guy, and I feel bad b/c one night Das got drunk and ragged on him for being English.  I've done it, too although not while I'm drunk.  I can't help it, I pick up people I think have it worse than I do, and I consider the English to be at a lower social level than Americans.

Duc - "David, quick question for you..."  I never purely hated someone so much in my life as this guy.  He was a co-worker of mine at my old job, and he was a "backstabber", a "rat", and he "treated me like shit".  <---None of those quotes are from me, they are from other people who knew him.  "Don't you wish you could just smack him one?" <--Same here.  Anyhow, he made my life hell at my old job, and he's one reason I'm glad I got fired.  He was a middle-aged super-anal retentive gay guy who fit a lot of the bad stereotypes about gay men, and none of the good ones.

The Deej - She was my boss at my old job.  I actually kind of liked her, even though she forced out another co-worker who everyone liked.  She was nice to me, and that's a lot of what I ask for in people.  But then I got fired.  I suspect she got curious as to what kind of guy she was going to transfer over to our other office and looked into my e-mails and (consequently) my web page.  C'est la vie...

Ray's Mom - "Hi Haole."  I think it's great that someone's mom calls me "Haole".  Ray's mom is a real, genuinely nice woman who helped me out immeasurably when I was poor and needed some place to live.  She also helps out her son who's poor and needs a place to live.  Watching her nag Ray was the best free entertainment I could ask for.

Albert (also known as Albutt) - "xxz" Al is an old roommate of mine who I still see every now and then.  His family life sorta disintergrated around him once he started college, but he keeps plugging on and is finally finishing up school.  He's Mr. Social.  He and Das used to be tag-team drinking champions of the world.  He also plays bass in a good band (http://www.sketchesofellis.com/), plays golf well, smokes herb well...he does well at anything he puts his mind to.  Here that, ladies?

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