July 99 (Haole Discovers Happiness)                                                      June 99
7-31-99 Head Hurt. Heart Hurt.  Need Magic Herb. 
7-30-99 Come on Down to Santa Monica...
7-29-99 Walkin' in LA (Nobody Walks in LA) 
7-27-99 All I Are is All I Are
7-27-99 Need an Intravenous Diet Coke Drip
7-26-99 The Romance of Alien Annihlation
7-24-99 The World of Falafel
7-23-99 1-800-Get-Some
7-23-99 I Don't Want to Go Off On a Rant, But..
7-22-99 God is a Dead Motherfucker
7-22-99 Fuck Work, I Want a Bad Haircut
7-20-99 The Truth About Haole
7-19-99 What if Bud was a Dairy Product?
7-16-99 Not What You'd Expect
7-15-99 Time for the Nice Padded Cell 
7-15-99 Pain and Suffering, Suffering and Pain
7-13-99 Low IQ All-Star
7-12-99 Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law
7-9-99 Won't You Be My Best Friend Today?
7-8-99 Smooth Talker
7-7-99 God Spoke to Me from My Ass.
7-7-99 eXistenZ in My New Place
7-6-99 In the Target Range..
7-5-99 Fireworks?  Fire it Up!
7-3-99 Tired at Work
7-2-99 Straight Into Compton
7-1-99 My Dick Hurts
7-1-99 Hey, Happy Canada Day! 
6- 30-99 The Unbearable Suckiness of Being
6-29-99 Lots of Gay Things
6-25-99 White Devil
6-25-99 Bitching and Moaning and Whining, oh my! 6-24-99 What's My Muthafuckin' Name?
6-23-99 What About a Prehensile Penis?
6-22-99 I, Haole
6-21-99  Media Puppet
6-18-99 A Love Story
6-18-99 Shitty Night
6-16-99 But I Don't Like Miatas
6-16-99 Video Games Made Me Invade Yugoslavia
6-15-99 The Slob Attacks
6-14-99 Poo Poo Platter
6-11-99 Hollerin' "Money is a Thang"
6-11-99 The Many Faces of Haole
6-8-99 Cibo Massacro
6-7-99 Fence Head
6-7-99 1-800-Talk-To-Me
6-4-99 Oh God, Another Akiyo and Depression Rant Part XXII
6-3-99 Boobs R' Not I
6-2-99 Sweet and Innocent
6-2-99 The Force is with the MTA
6-1-99 One Year Down; Isn't Hell for an Eternity?

 
 
May 99                                                                                                          April 99 
5-30-99 The Good Night Kiss Is Gonna Be Tough
5-28-99
5-28-99 Party Pooper
5-27-99 I ain't no Walter Payton
5-27-99 Down and Out Nowhere Near Centuy City
5-25-99 Unsigned Friend's Permission Slip
5-24-99 Sure Beats the Neighborhood 7-11
5-21-99 Thomas Edison Was One Lucky Bastard
5-20-99 Wipe That Shit Off!
5-19-99 Throw Haole from the Train
5-19-99 LoCal Honeys
5-19-99 Wanting Women and Being a Woman
5-14-99 I'm Not Giving Head, It Just Seems That Way
5-13-99 Passionless Fruit
5-12-99 Advice: No Sense
5-12-99 In it to Win it, But I Always Lose
5-10-99 Baked at the Movies 
5-7-99 Our Father, Who Art Getting Some.. 
5-6-99 Venting Like an Air Duct
5-4-99 Inside Haole's Head
 5-3-99 Feeling Like Doo-Doo 
5-2-99 Stone Cold Raymond
4-30-99 Oh My Buddha! 
4-29-99 Too Good for Haole
4-29-99 CD Stands for Certainly Dying
4-27-99 I'm Never Leaving the House Again
 4-27-99 Voices from Nowhere
4-26-99 Pour Your Misery Down on Me
4-26-99 Hard Knock  Life
4-26-99 Help Wanted: Haoles Need Not Apply
4-22-99 Drama in the Library
4-21-99 Happy Belated Birthday Bart Simpson
4-20-99 Pros and Cons of Drug Use
4-18-99 Reflections on Living the High Life!
4-17-99 Chaji Masajis at Work
4-16-99 Disposing of My Paycheck and My Health
4-15-99 Stick it in, take it out
4-14-99 Dumb and Bored and Desperate
4-13-99 Hemp Head
4-12-99 Object of a Woman's Desire
4-12-99 Doughnuts Doughnuts Everywhere
4-9-99 Automatic Problematic Life
4-8-99 Fear and Loathing in LA Habra
4-6-99 Slippery and Smelling Good
4-6-99 Original Glazed and Iced Custard
4-2-99 Taking Advantage of Ray's Mom
4-1-99 Bangusetsu

 
 
 
March 99                                                                                                  February 99
3-30-99 Spring Decontamination
3-27-99 A Little White, uh, Metallic Silver Lie
3-26-99 Wrong Sideo f the Futon
3-24-99 Roqin' Lucy Liu's World
3-23-99 Turning British
3-19-99 Non-Amusement Parks
3-17-99 Haole Turns Down Asian Chicks
3-15-99  Don King and my Asian Queens
3-15-99  AutoHaole Destruct Button
3-11-99 12 Hours of My So-Called Life
3-9-99 Random Thought Generator
3-8-99 Poopy Monday Syndrome
3-4-99 The Pangs of Turning White 
3-3-99 Public Speaking
3-2-99 Brain Candy
3-1-99 Cats and Lobsters and Me, Oh My!
2-12-99 Big Chick Beater
2-11-99 Big Boobs are not for Me 
2-10-99 Can't Get Enough of You, Baby
2-9-99 Loser Matinee
2-8-99 Playing Catch-up
1-29-99  Overruled Decisions
1-25-99 Self-Service?
1-21-99  Breasts & Thighs as Thanks
1-20-99 The Beaches of My Mind
1-19-99 Casino Charity Donor
1-15-99 Left Out in the Smoke
1-14-99 The Surgeon General Can Bite Me
1-13-99 Dripping with Honeys
1-8-99  Short and Thin Gets it In
1-7-99  Dan Quayle's Wet Dream
1-6-99 Bleh
1-4-99 Life in Manure City

 
December 99                                                                                                             November 99
12-26-98  Central Planning
12-25-98  Merry Boredom
12-24-98  mofo.com, ADD, A+F NGAS
12-23-98  Premature E-Journalism
12-22-98  Hey, Fat Boy!
12-21-98  The Story
12-21-98  New Depths of Shallowness
12-21-98  Music in My Madness
12-20-98  Fold-Up Haole
12-18-98  Sexual Chocolate
12-17-98  My Sharon-a
12-16-98  Duc Hunting Season
12-11-98  Buddhamas
12-10-98  Yesterday was the First Day of the Rest of My Past
12-9-98  Haole the Bitch
12-9-98  Get Busy Child
12-7-98  Da Joint
12-3-98  Going Postal
12-2-98 Aloha Grimace
12-1-98  Redcoats
11-30-98 Fear of a Black Man
11-30-98 Haole: The Long Thanksgiving
11-25-98  My Name's Haole, and I'm a Dumbass.
11-24-98  Don't forget your name in the top left corner...
11-20-98  Tequila Sunrise
11-19-98  Free Agent Future
11-18-98 Lazy Koreans
11-17-98  Ms. Ery Visits
11-16-98  Benedict Kims
11-16-98  Mixless Master
11-13-98 Ray's Bent
11-9-98   Slings and Arrows
11-9-98   It's Like Beer
11-5-98   Fade to Pale
11-5-98   Suck This
11-4-98   Throw Me Back

 
11-4-98 Off the Turnbuckle 3-18-98 Well, We're Moving on Up (On Up...)
11-3-98 Haole II -- The Return 3-17-98 Drinking Myself Smart
Two-Hundred-and-Fifteen Day Break 3-17-98 Green Monster
4-2-98 Beer, Bud, and Boredom 3-16-98 Run for Your Lives!
4-1-98 Time Marches On 3-14-98 Liquid Ramen
3-31-98 Cerritos On Wheels 3-13-98 Where's the Guy in the Hockey Mask?
3-27-98 School's Out, For-ever! 3-12-98 Building a Depressing Mystery
3-26-98 Problem Adult  3-11-98 Hell Comes to Haoletown
3-26-98 Bacchanalian Procrastination  3-10-98 God's A Wuss
3-25-98 Minister of Retardedness 3-10-98 Death Threat to God
3-24-98 Deep Doodoo Diving 3-9-98 Hit by the Short Yellow Bus
3-23-98 Rushing to Nowhere 3-7-98 The Arctic Computer Lab
3-22-98 Got dem' Web Page Blues 3-6-98 Cable Guy!
3-20-98 Honkey Mo-Fo 3-5-98 Movie Night
3-19-98 Horndoggery 3-4-98 Friends and Nicole's Ass

 
3-3-98 Weekend Update 2-7-98 Hot, Brown, and Bubbly
2-28-98 The Perils of Boredom 2-6-98 Hot and Wet
2-25-98 Of Marvel and Mickey D's 2-5-98 Broken Head
2-23-98 Haole, King of Beasts 2-4-98 Hay
2-19-98 The Ramen Kingmobile 2-3-98 They say it's your Birthday
2-18-98 Pop Goes My Self-Esteem 2-2-98 Fran's Birfday
2-17-98 Woman Magnet 2-1-98 Rain and Weed
2-17-98 Beating Wellington Ass 1-31-98 Miracle of Modern Medicine
2-15-98 Ray Makes My Day 1-29-98 Red red Whine
2-14-98 Whoa!  I've Got Money Woes 1-27-98 Butt-ass sick
2-12-98 Twice in One Day!!! 1-26-98 Wussified
2-12-98 Hindu Horror 1-24-98 Striving for the Mediocre
2-10-98 No Ties, Cheap Yanni 1-23-98 FartMan Lives
2-9-98 Ookla and Photoshop 1-22-98 Burn ILL, Burn!
2-8-98 Genghis Khan's Revenge 1-21-98 Sista' Spice

 
Stark Raving Mad e-mail haole!